Friday, January 20, 2012

Consideration

Considerate people...

1) Think about the people in the house they're visiting. Are they going to bed? What do you do? (HINT: The answer is NOT make fun of them for going to bed and then stay up as late and be as loud as you want.)

2) Plan things ahead of time. I don't care how cute he is, how fun the activity, how many people you invited. If you don't ask the parents/grandparents/roomates ahead of time, don't expect them to be happy when you steamroll over them.

3) Listen when said people/parents/grandparents/etc. complain, and don't do it again. Otherwise they will have to smack you.

4) DO NOT pretend you want to spend time with relatives when all you want is a place to sleep. They will inevitably leave their whole day open in case you want to do something, then be disappointed when you shop, visit other people, shop, eat out, visit other people, and crash at their house. Also they will fix you meals that you won't eat. This usually leads to leftovers that get too mushy and icky to eat.

5) DO NOT act as if an employee is stupid. Unless they are directly and verbally insulting you (i.e.: "Hey, you ugly lady with the stupid order!") or giving you the finger there is no call for it. It doesn't help them help you any better, and makes them want to foul up your order/appointment/kid just because you're a jerk.

6) DO NOT call people out on Facebook. Just don't do it. Nobody else wants to hear about how so-and-so is an idiot and insulted whoshisface in third grade and dunked your dolly in the toilet. If you have a problem, talk to the person face-to-face. Calmly is usually good. The internet blows everything up, and unless your an egocentric bonehead you'll regret having posted in your time of anger.

7) Reply to messages. Even if it's a "Hey, I got this and I'm thinking about how to reply to you." Otherwise the sender will resend the message. And send it to your alternate email. And Facebook you. And hunt down your physical address and send you a letter. And Facebook your friends to tell you to reply to them. And email you again.

8) Say things nicely. There ARE nice ways to say, "I think that dress is hideous on you" without going, "OMG THAT DRESS MAKES YOU LIKE LIKE A FAT COW!" And better ways to say "I disagree" than saying, "What is WRONG with you?! Do you have a BRAIN? You have got to be the stupidest person I have ever met!"

9) DO NOT guilt people into doing things. This is hard, because the guilter often doesn't realize they're doing it. If they don't want to do something, moaning about how much you've done for them and how they can't do this LITTLE THING and how you just feel SO BAD and they can't help you and the whole family thinks they're a recluse...it doesn't make them want to do it more, and really just makes them feel annoyed.

10) Compliment people! If you think a girl looks pretty today or a color looks good on a guy, TELL THEM! They won't hate you for it, and it just might make their day.

11) Consider where the other person is coming from. When you complain all day about how people stay on their cell phones, baby their kids too much, are senile, etc. the end result is a lack of empathy on your part, a feeling of betrayal on the part of anyone who relates in any way to your 'victim,' and the general wish on the part of anyone who is listening to stuff your mouth with old socks.

12) DO NOT use "individualism" as an excuse to be rude. Sorry, but being yourself is not a good thing if who you are is an a---er, a jerk wad.

13) DO NOT bring up things said in confidence in a public conversation. Or post them. Anywhere. It's not always easy to tell if the conversation you've had with someone is something they want kept in confidence, so before you relate your hilarious anecdote, think. If your positions were reversed, would you want them to tell this? Is there any possibility you should ask them before telling? More to the point, are you okay with them telling everyone about the time you were in high school and stalked the lacrosse team captain only to throw up on his shoe? Because payback is awful.

14) Apparently always end their lists with 13 useful things and one that they're too tired to think up, but 13 is a horrible number. Right? Right.

*Disclaimer: I do not claim to be a wholly considerate person. I'm still working on it. :-)

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