"Yesterday"

I've decided that before my posts I'm going to start putting a picture of me exactly as I am at the moment. So this is me being tired and having no makeup on at all. Yay! Ugh...

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Today I was listening through all my iTunes stuff (lots of Old Testament homework), and came upon the son "Yesterday" by...the Beatles. I think. Band names are the bane of my existance!

Anyway, I had to smile, because I remember my Show and Chamber choir singing that one in 2006. At the time...the song did not make me smile. I was going through a really rough time, trying to get scholarships and keep grades up, having a tight schedule, and dealing with my now-ex-sort-of-boyfriend.

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For anyone who doesn't know the story I'll give the reader's digest version: This boy, I'll call him Manuel, liked me. He was friends with another boy that I really liked to hang out with, and finally Manuel asked me out. Because of this, the other boy stepped back. That made me sad. To make things worse (sort of), Manuel and I kept going out. We weren't really an item (at least, never in my mind), but he was the only one who ever asked me out...so he was the only one I dated. And I could NOT figure out why I wasn't crazy about Manuel! He was everything on my list! He respected him mom, opened doors for me, had a good head on his shoulders, was very intelligent, complimented me a lot, was romantic...he even sang! But I just didn't feel like I could be myself around him. So the guy I liked was staying away, and the guy that was okay thought that we were more serious than I did.

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So. Life problems, love problems...and I think there was something going on at home that was hard for me...maybe someone was ill, or something. I don't remember. Add that to the fact that I have a major problem with growing up...it just seems sometimes that life's passing me by before I can grab onto enough of it. But I couldn't keep from crying when we sang this song in Show and Chamber. I actually had to step out of the room. I mean, the lyrics:

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"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away,

Now it looks as though they're here to stay,"

Well, I sure had troubles, and at the time it didn't seem like they were ever going to end. I saw no end in sight.

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"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play,

Now I need a place to hide away..."

Speaks for itself. And there were times I literally hid from Manuel because I just didn't want to deal with him right then.

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Anyway, the point is, now I look back on that and smile! It's really a testament to me about how life has ups and downs, but the downs always end! I've been in many hard places since then and each time have not been able to see a way out--an ending-- to all the darkness around me. It seemed like I would go on in shadow forever, but I was determined to go on, believing that somewhere on the other side of this down there HAD to be an up. And I was right! There was always an up. Sometimes it took a lot of courage and admitting I had messed up, but there definitely was an up. How wonderful it is that our Heavenly Father has provided for us a way to gain this experience, and a way to get up from our downs! It takes courage, and admitting that we've messed up, and some definite work to get up from the down...but it is possible, and He helps us every step of the way!